Smile at a stranger, help a friend in deed, offer an arm for support, give something to someone with no personal gain, except the immense pleasure you feel.
Be observant, don't judge, be supportive of those who need help, those who say they don't often do.
If someone dies, do not walk on the other side of the road to avoid their loved ones for fear that they may cry.
Ask how are you or how is it going, listen, trully listen to them and nod and help.
Give advice only if its factual and offers them help from an organisation, never say "if that was me I would dump them, walk away or leave them" never judge those around you.
If you see a drunken man, a woman swearing, ask yourself why has this happened to them, what is going on to create this situation?
Are they drunk, if in doubt ask but keep your self safe. You can stand a good distance and still ask them if they are alright.
So how did I get here to write this.
Well last night it was great joy and sadness that I was privileged to watch a woman called Barbara caring for her husband Malcolm.
He was dying, he had Alzheimer's Disease. Like you I thought it was "just dementia" in that they are just a little forgetful and need to be kept safe. I do not want to trivialise dementia but Alzheimer's is NOT just dementia.
Its a killer, its like some invisible force eating away at the sufferers brain and in turn it destroys the will and strength of the ones who care for the loved one. It doesn't just break their back with all the moving and handling, it shatters their hearts into tiny pieces.
But one thing about Barbara one thing about her and her stalwart family and her very good friends is they CARED. You think you care, nurses and doctors think they CARE, people in the Department of Health and Works and Pensions say they CARE. The people who live in the ivory towers of that not very NICE organisation that says its NICE THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL EXCELLENCE SAY THEY CARE.
Excuse my language, like frick they care!
I did care, I cared for my patients. Nurses in my profession said I cared to much!
I don't care about paperwork, or bureaucracy what I care about is keeping someone clean, comfortable, safe and pain free. Which is what most carers want. Yes of course vital signs are vitally important but so is the hands on nursing, the care and compassion to hold someones hand and have the time to do it without others jumping down your throat.
So Carers are Angels and Saints and they walk amongst us. Unfortunately although they may care for a loved one for 10, 20, 30 years they don't get much thanks for doing it.
They get no support from the state and they rely on Friends and Family to get them through the day to day tasks of living and caring for their loved ones.
Barbara was awarded a Very Well deserved MBE and I heartily congratulate her on such an honour.
Yet Barbara and carers like her caring for patients/loved ones with Alzheimer's should not need to care for these loved ones.
Why!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because they're are drugs out there that can help, really help patients and loved ones with this crippling disease and "stop" the degeneration of their bodies and their minds.
Malcolm was around 60 when he died, too young to die! Drugs are out there to help sufferers. I did not say cure I said help.
There are billions of pounds/dollars/euros poured into respite care for Cancer Sufferers, Head Injuries and other serious and quite often life limiting illnesses. Rightly so! but what about this crippling debilitating disease that is causing suffering and heart break, where is the help for them. Why can we not allocate respite care and support for these relatives who CARE in a world that does not seem to CARE.
If one administrator was removed from each hospital today, there would be money enough for Alzheimer's patients. Just one 60,000 pound a year or is it 40,000 per annum would help these Angels and Saints to care for their loved ones.
How much longer much this injustice and degradation continue.
I thank GOD for giving these Angels and Saints the strength they require to do they job they do.
Blessed be.
Barbara if you ever read this then I wish you well, I hope that you are blessed with many good things. Malcolm is in your heart and thanks to you and your family he is in our hearts now and he is comforted by God our saviour, the Divine being of our Universe.
May God send comfort and blessings to you and your family and friends.
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